as in Murphy’s law. I’m beginning to think I’m a victim of Murphy’s law… on top of losing John… all of this in the last week…
Tractor’s broken… had to go to John Deere this time… afraid it will be expensive
Jeep tires low… hoping nothing major
Challenging Challenge
Basement getting water in it- not much, but it used to never get water in it
Headache all day… pounding at times…
Brand new generator not working
Feet hurt… heel killing me… getting worse… need to get it looked at…
Raven’s tickets for Monday night had the sale fall through 😦 (Anybody interested let me know)
Trying to figure out where to cut costs… worried about money… afraid of losing house… horses (which are my “kids” too)
Trying to figure out what do about work.
Trying to figure out childcare for Nathaniel. I thought I had a solution… it fell through.
Worried about potential cancer in friend’s family member.
Dreading my birthday.
Thinking about things I’ve never thought about in order to make things work.
But… Kiddo is doing well and loves me (for whatever bizarre reason that kids love their parents- he’ll get over that in time. I felt bad for him today, I had to leave him & he was so unhappy & clingy… poor velcro child…. poor, pathetic velcro child)… horses are happy & healthy… cats are doing well. Parents are up for a visit. I’m also looking forward to seeing friends this weekend & excited about the challenge.
The challenge is also going to be hard for me… not physically (don’t laugh at me as I limp- damn heels), but emotionally. I was so proud of John last year. He was in the prime of his life (why is it that you can’t really say somebody is in the prime of their life, till they’re past it? Irony, I guess.)… so healthy… so fit… so sexy… so happy… so determined… so focused… so proud of his new son.. and we were so in love… as a family we just all felt so right. It meant so much for Nathaniel & me to be there to watch him cross the finish line.
He picked up his survivor’s rose like a pro- not a bobble & smooth as could be! I was impressed. I remember thinking… he’s beat it… he’s been cancer free since Jan 2007. 
John made the curve around the end of the course & stopped & looked for us. I captured the moment on film.
Afterwards, John gave the rose to me & it just meant so much. Yellow roses have significance in his family… his father always gave him mother yellow roses.
After he finished, he sought out Nathaniel & gave him a big kiss. It was a very special moment to witness.
Today, I noticed that John’s cycling shoes & helmet are still in his Jeep… ready for his next ride.
What a difference a year makes 😦 FUCKING CANCER!!!
Rainbows & Mourning Doves 
I’m with you….Murphy Sucks!