“I’m blaming John for this.”

“I’m blaming John for this!”  my cousin, Becky,  said.

She was referring to that she recently found out that she’s expecting her first child!  It brought a smile to my eyes and tears of happiness.

We had recently had conversations where she had told me that she was so moved by the photos of John with Nathaniel that we had for the services that her and her husband had decided that it would be a case of “when”, not “if” they had children.  Becky was also fortunate enough to see how much John had loved Nathaniel.

Becky’s words also reminded me of a phone call where John called his co-worker and cycling buddy, Menassa, and told him something to the effect of, “I have a bone to pick with you… you convinced me to go on that cycling ride and Mary ended up pregnant.”  That was how he told Menassa our good news :-).

I’d now like to share some of my favorite photos of John and Nathaniel.  We never had professional family photos taken, but I treasure the photos that we have… they show the true undivided love that John shared for “the boy.”

John & Nathaniel, July 16, 2008

John & Nathaniel, July 16, 2008

An armfull- Nathaniel, John, & Punkin

An armfull- Nathaniel, John, & Punkin

John & Nathaniel- Philly LiveStrong Challenge 2008

John & Nathaniel- Philly LiveStrong Challenge 2008

John & Nathaniel, October 2008

John & Nathaniel, October 2008

John & Nathaniel- Election Day 2008

John & Nathaniel- Election Day 2008 This is one of my favorites... John is just so proud of his son and looks so healthy and strong. John was very proud of Rising Sun, Cecil County, Maryland, and the USA. It was important for us to take Nathaniel with us when we voted, we hope he'll take the same pride in his city, county, state, & country that we both do/did.

Just look at the smile on Johns face- true love- January 2009

Just look at the smile on John's face- true love- January 2009

John & Nathaniel celebrating Ravens victory- January 2009

John & Nathaniel celebrating Ravens victory- January 2009

Another favorite of my boys- January 2009

Another favorite of my boys- January 2009

Stage IV, but still loving his boy- John & Nathaniel- April 2008

Stage IV, but still loving his boy- John & Nathaniel- April 2008

John & Nathaniel, April 2009

John & Nathaniel, April 2009

This may be the last pictures of John & Nathaniel together, June 23. 2009.  John was too weak to hold Nathaniel, but he really enjoyed when Id put Nathaniel in his bed.  The two of them would laugh and smile.

This may be the last pictures of John & Nathaniel together, June 23. 2009. John was too weak to hold Nathaniel, but he really enjoyed when I'd put Nathaniel in his bed. The two of them would laugh and smile. True love.

To Becky & Josh:  I wish you a happy and successful pregnancy and I hope you your baby will bring you the joy that Nathaniel brought to our lives!

I’ve found that John’s illness and death has left an impact on quite a few people.  I’m glad that he can be blamed for your decision to enter parenthood!  I can imagine the smile on his face and twinkle in his eye when he would have heard you say that.

Becky & Josh- Congratulations!!!

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About Mary K. Smith

I was widowed in July 2009, when I lost my beloved husband, John, to melanoma. Cancer SUCKS. We have a young son who was just a year old when his father died. I live on a small farm in Maryland which is home to horses, cats, and a dog. I started this blog as a way for me to heal, a way to remember my husband, and eventually I'd like to share it with our son so he can see the love that his father had for him, the love that we had for each other, what a great person his father was, and how hard his father fought to live.
This entry was posted in Cycling, Family, Life after John's Death, Nathaniel, Pre-stage IV, Stage IV and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to “I’m blaming John for this.”

  1. Tonya says:

    that was a moving post, you’ve managed to pack so many wonderful memories into Nathaniel’s first year. It will give you a lot of great stories to share with him when he gets old enough to understand just how wonderful his father really was.

  2. ROBBIN RICE says:

    SO GLAD YU SHARED JOHN AND NATHAN’S PICS. HOW BLESSED NATHAN WILL BE TO LOOK AT THOSE PHOTOS AND SEE HOW LOVED HE IS. CHILDREN ARE WONDERFUL GIFTS FROM GOD AND HE WAS BLESSED TO EXPERIENCE THE AWESOME LOVE WE FEEL FOR A CHILD.

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