Maybe it just wasn’t meant to be.

I came that close to telling the Sprint representative that– “Maybe it just wasn’t meant to be.”

Nine weeks later, I finally called Sprint to tell them to cancel John’s phone line.  It was one of those stupid emotional things that I just couldn’t handle.

One night I missed John so much that I just wanted to hear his voice and I called his phone only to discover that he hadn’t changed the greeting and it was just the automated prompt.  That left me bawling.

Well… no reason to keep the phone number if it doesn’t even have his voice on it.   None of his contacts have called.  I think pretty much everybody who needs to know that he’s passed away- knows.

My phone is falling apart… the flip part is cracked the battery is barely holding a charge.

So… the “logical me,” said switch my number to John’s phone.   The “emotional me” had issues.

So, I waited a few more weeks… “logical me” won.

I’m also trying to decide what to do with my cell plan… Sprint has free minutes starting at 7.  I have very few friends with Sprint, so free mobile to mobile doesn’t do much for me.  Verizon has free calls to other mobile Verizon customers and most of my friends have Verizon.  However, there are some friends who I talk to quite a bit who don’t have Verizon… so who knows.  Verizon does have the 5 numbers out of network that you can pick, but that isn’t with their cheapest plan.  Sprint just started a nifty plan that has free calls to any mobile customer on any network, but that is more expensive- but includes internet, TV, navigation, etc.  But as John would say- something to the effect of, “Why would I use my phone to look at the internet… I don’t want to watch it on a tiny screen.”  And here I go… over analyzing  AGAIN!!!

Today, I made the call.  Nobody that I talked to even expressed their condolences.  Sigh.  That is tough too.  It’s not the first time.  It turned out that switching my phone to his number was a HUGE problem… not that it was a problem to do, but that it just wouldn’t work.  I talked to probably 5-7 different people and we tried about 4 different ways.

I was so close to saying, “Maybe it just wasn’t meant to be.  Just leave my number on the falling apart phone.”

Then I couldn’t get my numbers to switch over and was told the nearest Sprint store is in Bel Air… about 20 miles away and in a direction that I have no pending need to be.

I got off the phone emotionally exhausted with the feeling of having enough.  It had taken over two hours!!!!   On top of that Nathaniel had a dirty diaper… I changed him- at least he didn’t scream!  I fed him… I put him to bed… and now I’m decompressing while I muster up enough energy to go out and feed the horses.  Some equine therapy will do me good.

The cell phones were one of those silly things that John always handled.  I’m challenged when it comes to ANYTHING electronic… I could never even program a VCR.  And now the whole silly cell phone thing has just turned into a mess… maybe I should have listened to “emotional me.”

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About Mary K. Smith

I was widowed in July 2009, when I lost my beloved husband, John, to melanoma. Cancer SUCKS. We have a young son who was just a year old when his father died. I live on a small farm in Maryland which is home to horses, cats, and a dog. I started this blog as a way for me to heal, a way to remember my husband, and eventually I'd like to share it with our son so he can see the love that his father had for him, the love that we had for each other, what a great person his father was, and how hard his father fought to live.
This entry was posted in Horses, Life after John's Death, Nathaniel, Pre-stage IV and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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