Two weeks of work finished!

I wrapped up my second week of being back to work.  I had been worried about how I’d manage to work night shift, how much I would have forgotten, and how I’d do emotionally.

I’ll be honest, I’ve been rather disappointed with the number of people who have told me it won’t work and that I’ll have to go days.  In reality that probably just gives me the extra drive to find a way to make it work.

I’ve run across many people who don’t understand that 10% shift differential is a substantial amount of money and I’m dealing with a money deficit.  I also now have child care expenses, which we’ve never had before.  At this point, financially, night shift makes sense.

Raising our son was also very important to John and I.  By working overnights I have the ability to spend a few good quality hours with Nathaniel.  If I worked day shift, by the time that I’d get home, I’d have enough time to feed him and put him to bed.  That isn’t what John or I wanted for our son.  In time, I’m sure that things will change and there may come a point when working day shift will make more sense.

I also wanted to return to work doing a job that I know and working with people who are aware of me and my situation.  The last thing I need is for somebody to look at photos and start asking about my husband not realizing the situation and facing another “Happy Home Depot man” moment.

Well, I’m pleased to report back that the two weeks went very well.

The downfalls are that, I don’t have a desk and my personal belongings are in a box in my managers office.  We’ve also had some people change shifts, so some of my friends have moved on to day positions, which makes our friendly family-like team feel a little less like cozy.

But, I’ll have a desk soon and then I can then set it up the way that I want.  It was hard when I stopped by for a visit and saw everything unchanged on my desk- like favorite pics of John… looking so healthy and happy.  A new desk for a fresh start– really isn’t a downfall.  I can also e-mail or call my friends who have left, so it’s not a goodbye.

I’ve started resuming my job function and I’ve found that it’s pretty much like riding a bike or getting back in the saddle.  Some things are different, but the basics are the same.

My sitter has been phenomenal.  I couldn’t be more happy in my choice.  She loves Nathaniel and treats him like her own son.  Her daughter adores him.  In all my choices that I’ve had to make alone… I know I made the right one with that!  She also has even watched Nathaniel longer, so that I can get some extra sleep.  What more could a night shift person want!!!!

We’re getting a new manager since my old manager got married and is moving to Ohio.  I wish her the best.  Through correspondence and a meeting with my new manager, I made a point to convey- I’m back.  While I’m at work- work is what I’m here to do.  I need a purpose.  I need a focus.  I’m the same ‘ol reliable, hardworking Mary that I was before.  My personal life has been turned upside down and I’ll never ever be the same, but that is outside of work.  My professional life is separate from my personal life.  I asked to be considered for additional responsibilities.

Now that my fight for John is over, I need to stay occupied and find my next cause- my next fight- my purpose.  I told the new manager that John would expect nothing less of me… pick up the pieces and continue onward while always doing my best.  I want to be a good role model to Nathaniel and learning by example is a great way for him to grow into the young man that John and I want for him to become.

So… that is the first two weeks back.

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About Mary K. Smith

I was widowed in July 2009, when I lost my beloved husband, John, to melanoma. Cancer SUCKS. We have a young son who was just a year old when his father died. I live on a small farm in Maryland which is home to horses, cats, and a dog. I started this blog as a way for me to heal, a way to remember my husband, and eventually I'd like to share it with our son so he can see the love that his father had for him, the love that we had for each other, what a great person his father was, and how hard his father fought to live.
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One Response to Two weeks of work finished!

  1. jho2 says:

    I’m glad that it is working out. I totally understand the reasons for you wanting to return to night shift…differential, familiarity, etc. But I still wish that you had another choice. I still worry about you falling asleep at the wheel…

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