What is left of John’s facebook account

Somebody took it upon themselves to “memorialize” John’s facebook account.  This basically stripped his account.  I can’t believe that somebody would have the audacity to do it without consulting me– you know– his wife.  I LOVED how John wrote… I LOVED to go back and read his words and smile.  So… to whomever did it… THANKS for ruining it.  THANKS for stealing what I wanted to share with Nathaniel– you know– John’s son.

I don’t understand why facebook allows anyone to go in and do this.  You would think that they’d reserve the right for spouse if the person has one, parents if the child is a minor or if the person has no spouse, etc… and not merely some “internet friend.”

“Memorializing” basically strips the account… none of John’s status updates remain, his info tab (which lists his employment, his groups, his pages), his bike log, his blog, his games, and several goofy pass it along surveys are gone.  In other words by “memorializing” his page “John” was stripped from his page… raped… eradicated… dead…

So, to whomever killed John’s facebook page… Thanks…

I wanted to be able to share with Nathaniel, what his father felt and shared in his fight against cancer.  I never got a chance to save it because I didn’t think somebody would “memorialize” his page.  Never in my wildest dreams-  or should I say worst nightmares- did I think somebody would go behind my back without asking me.  Now it’s gone… Thanks…

Oh… and those, “silly goofy survey’s.”  I wanted so much to save them.  One  was one of those what do you enjoy, which would you choose sort of surveys.  John answered them with his personal touch- in the way that was uniquely John.   It was so him.  I wish so badly that I had it back 😦  I wanted to share it with Nathaniel.  It was on his front page and would have remained there for years… Now it’s gone… Thanks…

What is wrong with people?  Do they just not think?  Wouldn’t you think somebody would ask me,  “Hey, Mary, did you know you could memorialize John’s facebook page?  Do you want to do it?”

At which time I could have explained that no, I did not and my reasons why.  I had been alerted to the “dangers” of “memorializing.

So… what’s left of “John” on his facebook page… very little.  It reminds me of a headstone.  Does a headstone tell you about a person- how they lived their life-   what type of person they were?  Not usually… pretty much just name… date of birth… date of death…

The only comments of John’s that are left are the ones that John made in response to what somebody posted on his wall.  John’s FB page goes back to October 13, 2008… that’s before stage IV… shortly after his stage III diagnosis.  Back to when he was trying to decide about enrolling in the clinical vaccination trial.  So much is gone… it’s terrible.

Here’s what’s left of John on his FB page…

To set the stage- this was after a friend was fixing our stopped up sink and broke a pipe…

Keith- Just cause Matt has an occasional case of plumbers crack does not make him a plumber! May 5, 2009

John Smith- All he had to do was uncouple an inch & a half pipe… I’ve seen him do it with hose all the time.. I’m not sure what went wrong? Maybe if I’d given him a spanner instead of pliers?  May 6, 2009

This next one must have occurred after John said something about being frustrated… now I don’t know since his page was stripped…

Tina- Keep yourself calm, He’ll sense your frustrations and it will make him more fussy.  Just wanted to say hi and that we’re keeping you in our prayers.  April 16, 2009

John Smith-Not frustrated because I can’t calm him, frustrated because my incision & weakness prevents me from being able to pick him up & hold him & pat him & shush him — it’s all up to Mary… who’s done a wonderful job as he is now sleeping away… but I couldn’t participate. =(
At least something was saved where John said something good about me… lol.. that didn’t really happen very often.  Not that John posted negative things about me, he just rarely wrote about me in his status updates.  Ironic, I guess…

About Mary K. Smith

I was widowed in July 2009, when I lost my beloved husband, John, to melanoma. Cancer SUCKS. We have a young son who was just a year old when his father died. I live on a small farm in Maryland which is home to horses, cats, and a dog. I started this blog as a way for me to heal, a way to remember my husband, and eventually I'd like to share it with our son so he can see the love that his father had for him, the love that we had for each other, what a great person his father was, and how hard his father fought to live.
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