Red Sweater

I teared up as I was getting Nathaniel ready to go to Christmas dinner at his aunt’s house.  I had on my new red sweater that I’d purchased for our Christmas card photo.

Our Christmas card photo

I was dressing Nathaniel in his spiffy Christmas outfit.  I thought that John would love how stunning Nathaniel looked.

Nathaniel in his Christmas outfit

In my head I pictured what John’s opinion would be if I asked him to wear a red sweater for a Christmas photo.  I had several different scenarios in my head.  1- John would say, like he did last Christmas, “Nobody wants to see, us. ”  and then have the photo of Nathaniel only.  2- I’m not wearing a sweater.  3- he’d wear a button down shirt, or 4- He’d do it for Nathaniel.

There is no way in Hell that John would willingly put on a red sweater for a Christmas photo.  John was NOT a sweater guy.  Not one bit.  He found them to be hot and uncomfortable.  I think I saw him wear a sweater a grand total of maybe 3 times- I can only remember 2 times.

Once was for my Grandmother’s viewing that he hadn’t planned to attend, but stayed for because I needed the support.  He hadn’t bought clothes to wear for a viewing, so he wore one of my father’s sweaters.

I think the other time he put one on was when we went out for Christmas Eve one year.  His one set of relatives dresses up for Christmas and we always felt under dressed.   I just about fell over to see him put on a sweater.

Who knows what John would have done… John was John and he would have done what he decided, but if anybody could make John put on a red sweater… it would be Nathaniel.

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About Mary K. Smith

I was widowed in July 2009, when I lost my beloved husband, John, to melanoma. Cancer SUCKS. We have a young son who was just a year old when his father died. I live on a small farm in Maryland which is home to horses, cats, and a dog. I started this blog as a way for me to heal, a way to remember my husband, and eventually I'd like to share it with our son so he can see the love that his father had for him, the love that we had for each other, what a great person his father was, and how hard his father fought to live.
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