Kiddo & I had our own ceremony on 9-11

We went to Martin’s and got a buy one get one special on roses.  We went to the cemetery and  I unwrapped the package of 3 red roses and gave them to Nathaniel.  He insisted on moving the Father’s Day Stone and putting the roses where it had been.

He’s a little particular about certain things- did I mention he reminds me of his father?

I explained to Nathaniel what was going on in Colorado and why we couldn’t be there.  I told him that I’d asked if we could get some financial help earlier this year, but it hadn’t been granted.  I told him how we have to be responsible with money (we don’t have Daddy to bring in his nice income anymore).  I told him about all of the heroes who lost their lives on 9-11-01.

I gave a salute to the heavens for John.

I told John that I was sorry I wasn’t in Colorado and I felt like I was letting him down but that I loved him.  I told John that every day I love, honor, and remember him.

In a tradition that I’ve started… whenever we get cut flowers for the cemetery, we bring some home as well.  If we get a plant, it stays at the cemetery for a short duration and then comes home to get planted.

Sunday, we drove by the cemetery.  Surprisingly, the roses were just as red and beautiful as they had been on Saturday.  It had been dry and warm on Saturday and I had expected that they would have been wilted.  It’s been parched here and very, very dry- I hadn’t expected the rain that came in overnight.  The roses were covered with raindrops, which to me seemed like teardrops.  Perhaps, John also is sad that a widow can’t afford to attend a memorial service honoring her husband.  Maybe he was moved by his son’s presentation.  Then again, maybe they were just raindrops.

About Mary K. Smith

I was widowed in July 2009, when I lost my beloved husband, John, to melanoma. Cancer SUCKS. We have a young son who was just a year old when his father died. I live on a small farm in Maryland which is home to horses, cats, and a dog. I started this blog as a way for me to heal, a way to remember my husband, and eventually I'd like to share it with our son so he can see the love that his father had for him, the love that we had for each other, what a great person his father was, and how hard his father fought to live.
This entry was posted in Annapolis Fire Department, Events in honor of John, Firefighting, Life after John's Death, Nathaniel. Bookmark the permalink.

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