Levi alerted me…

Levi may be a big, overgrown, hyper, Baby Huey sort of dog who is just plain goofy and not that bright, but he’s a damn fine watchdog.  Today, he alerted me to the FedEx man.  I hadn’t ordered anything.  When I opened the box it was John’s flag.  A beautiful IAFF flag in a wooden box with a name plate.  I called Nathaniel over and we broke out the scissors.  I told him what a wonderful father he had and what the flag meant.  Nathaniel was happy to “help” use scissors… EMS shears at that… ones that John had bought for the house.  Kiddo happily babbled, “Daddy” and shredded packing peanuts.

He clearly has no idea what the flag represents, but someday the flag will be his and someday he’ll understand.  For now, I set it on top of his bookshelf and instructed him that it was fragile and could break and we had to take good care of it.

I’d love to take a photo, but Nathaniel broke the camera.  John’s “nice” camera is out of battery juice.   Add that to the ever growing list of things that keep breaking… microwave, printer, camera, etc…. sigh…

The flag doesn’t take away the pain, guilt, and frustration from not being able to attend the ceremony in Colorado for financial reasons, but at least I’ll be able to pass the flag onto Nathaniel and it is something tangible to represent what a special father he had.

About Mary K. Smith

I was widowed in July 2009, when I lost my beloved husband, John, to melanoma. Cancer SUCKS. We have a young son who was just a year old when his father died. I live on a small farm in Maryland which is home to horses, cats, and a dog. I started this blog as a way for me to heal, a way to remember my husband, and eventually I'd like to share it with our son so he can see the love that his father had for him, the love that we had for each other, what a great person his father was, and how hard his father fought to live.
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