Our Winnie cat is very sick.  She’s been dropping weight and is light as a feather.  She started sneezing on Friday and her appetite was pretty close to gone by Sunday.

This AM, I took her to the vet, I was hoping to get her in Saturday, but the vet was out of town.  At her appointment this AM it was determined that she has a fever, is dehydrated and quite possibly has kidney failure.  I trust my vet and whereas the prognosis is not good, he didn’t say that it was time to euthanize.  The plan is blood work, fluids, and antibiotics and see where we are in the morning.

Of course, I couldn’t help but think of John and how at the end there were just too many things going on… fever, bleeding, cancer tumors everywhere, failing liver, needing transfusion, and infection.  John gave it his all and would have given anything to stay, but it wasn’t to be.

Winnie slept with me last night, purred a lot, and even jumped up onto the counter.  She’s not ready to go yet either.  But I don’t know if her body is strong enough to let her stay.

It broke my heart to put her in the cage and walk away not knowing if she’ll make it through the night.  I didn’t want to leave her alone.  But I couldn’t stay with her and her only chance to make it is in the confines of the steel cage in the vet’s office.

This evening at 7:30, I got a terrible uncomfortable feeling and I’m hoping that there wasn’t a reason for it.

Tomorrow is a new day… election day… a day of hopes… promises… and dreams.. who knows what it will bring to the Smith household.  I’d love to have Ms. Winnie back and strong and healthy, but if it is not to be, I’ll take comfort in knowing that she’ll be with HER John.

I used to joke that it was a good thing that Winnie wasn’t a woman… she’d be stealing John from me.  Those two had an amazing bond and shared such love for each other.

About Mary K. Smith

I was widowed in July 2009, when I lost my beloved husband, John, to melanoma. Cancer SUCKS. We have a young son who was just a year old when his father died. I live on a small farm in Maryland which is home to horses, cats, and a dog. I started this blog as a way for me to heal, a way to remember my husband, and eventually I'd like to share it with our son so he can see the love that his father had for him, the love that we had for each other, what a great person his father was, and how hard his father fought to live.
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