Funny how those little tiny events happen and you just think, “Damn, I wish John was here.” Not a crying, sobbing, depressing event… Just a minor happening in the day… and a thought of him.
During morning feeding, I heard a buzz, followed by something landing on the back of my neck and then that terrible sensation that I had a creature of unknown origin crawling down the back of my neck and into my shirt.
This creature of undetermined origin appeared to fall into one of two categories… a bee or a stinkbug. If it was a bee and I didn’t handle the situation correctly, I would probably get stung on my neck or back… not fun… If it was a stinkbug, I just had to remove the vile and disgusting warrior from my clothes and hopefully he wouldn’t emit his stink.
I wished John was there. He’d take care of me. I’d survive the mishap uninjured. Good firefighters are THE BEST problem solvers… and John was a good one!
But… he’s not here…
I did have another potential savior.
He knows what stinkbugs are. He could tell me if it was a stinkbug or a bee and I could react accordingly!
I got his attention… now I was practically quivering from this vile creature crawling on my neck.
I said, “Nathaniel, look at Mommy’s neck (pointed)…. do I have a stinkbug? Is it a bee? What is on Mommy’s neck?
Kiddo looked at the ground and said “stinkbug” never once looking at my neck.
I tried again… no avail….
Not trusting that my child is a psychic stinkbug identifier, I decided to strip a layer and hoped I wouldn’t get stung. I of course have to do this carefully, so as to not get stung and to not freak the child out.
I’m almost to the strip naked and run like a girl– and not in the awesome Zenyatta or Rachel Alexandra sort of way– more like the helpless, pathetic girl who screams at the top of her lungs and jumps on a chair when encountered, by a harmless rodent (for the record I am NOT scared of mice ). Fearing that could attract neighbor’s glances and cause kiddo to need years of therapy… I opted instead to strip the top layer… I carefully, removed the sweatshirt and then flailed it as if I was beating down an impending forest fire.
Phew. No sting. I was SAVED!!!
I searched the ground and found no trace of the bug/bee. Either the crawling sensation was all in my head or the creature had flow for safety. Kiddo helped with the search. Once I deemed that the sweatshirt had passed the Hazardous Bug Screening Check, I re-applied it and continued with feeding.
This would have been so much easier and less traumatic had John been there to save me from the creepy crawly creature, he would have nonchalantly told me what it was and provided it wasn’t a bee brushed it off with the swipe of a hand. But, I survived.
If he had a window from Heaven, there was probably either one of two reactions… or maybe a combination… 1- shaking his head at me (as in the “Oh dear lord, how did I end up with this one” sort of way) and/or 2- laughing his ass off. I can visualize him shaking his head as I’m asking my child for advice… you know the parrot two year old who has a tendency to repeat the last words of most verbal conversations, or answers “NO!” for everything! Although, had it been a yellow jacket, John probably would have been concerned. Those things are downright nasty and sting for fun and he wouldn’t want me to get hurt.