Moment 234,304,320,304 that I miss John- wildlife encounter

I love the wildlife around the farm,  BUT I don’t like when things that are wild get too close (like a fox after a cat or a fox in the backyard- luckily those 3 encounters happened when John was still here.) or act strangely.

Well… today, my friends who are temporarily keeping ponies here came to clean their stall and went to dump the wheelbarrow and there was a critter in the field.

Easily ID’d- Groundhog.


No problem… other than the possibility of holes in the field… it will run…

It did not.




We got within 10… maybe even 7 or 8 feet of it… it walked closer… great…

It did not seem aggressive.

It looked a little wobbly on its feet. Maybe sick… or hurt… no foaming at the mouth…

Maybe it’s old… an old senile groundhog…

Maybe somebody has tamed it… wait… who tames groundhogs?

Maybe it was looking for food… sniffing out some… um… never-mind… that makes no sense either…

It did walk in some strange circles.


Then when the pony trotted over to check it out and then spooked… it walked towards her, rather than running…

We decided to get the pony & my stallion back to their original turnouts… so much for letting them have more grass and bigger fields for the afternoon.   Tag teamed… took a bucket of grain & I tossed some large rocks in it… if somebody has better aim than I do… DEFENSE!

I called my neighbor but he wasn’t home. He said if he got home before dark (which he didn’t) he’d try to find it. I’m not about having critters shot for the sake of shooting them, but I don’t want humans, equines, canine, or felines put in danger… and if it’s rabid it needs done away with.

Anyway… the groundhog ended up eventually going to the woods. But now I’m paranoid…. part of me wishes I had the balls to shoot it myself, but then there is the part of me that can’t bring myself to kill living mammals.  After losing John I have this overwhelming feeling that every life is precious, no need to kill it if it is unnecessary.

My dog has been barking too much tonight like there is something out there. I was going to bring him in tonight, but have decided I don’t want to go out to get him… the good flashlights are broken… and I don’t want to have an encounter that I don’t want to have… besides he can keep it from getting close to Rosie & Winston.  I checked the weather… 43F right now… he can stay outside.  I feel like a wuss, but I’d rather be a wuss than endure shots to prevent rabies…

Make this moment 234,304,320,304 that I miss my husband… John– the voice of reason… the calm… the strong… the logical… the one who would make a shot if warranted… the one who did the “dirty work” when it needed done… my protector… the firefighter who’s passion and career involved problem solving in life threatening situations…

Damn cancer… Damn FUCKING cancer…

About Mary K. Smith

I was widowed in July 2009, when I lost my beloved husband, John, to melanoma. Cancer SUCKS. We have a young son who was just a year old when his father died. I live on a small farm in Maryland which is home to horses, cats, and a dog. I started this blog as a way for me to heal, a way to remember my husband, and eventually I'd like to share it with our son so he can see the love that his father had for him, the love that we had for each other, what a great person his father was, and how hard his father fought to live.
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