Photo a Day 11-29-10

Nathaniel, Blue Dog, White Bear, Punkin & Rascal at the vet's office 11-29-10

Clean bill of health… up to date on all vaccinations… a little emotional to be in the same room where I stoked Winnie’s coat as she took her last breath, but I did okay. I’ll admit, there was that “what if something’s wrong nervousness” that I think I’ll always have.

That one is thanks to John… I’d get so nervous before his oncology checkups… I couldn’t sleep, I felt nauseous, had that feeling in the pit of my stomach…  and John never seemed to worry… maybe he did, but he didn’t externally.  I had that dread— what if it was back???

Then everything would be fine and I’d stressed myself for no reason.

After we had Nathaniel, life was so good.  One day, I quit worrying.  We went in for that visit with our baby.  Everybody in the office loved him.  John told the doctor that if it hadn’t been for him- he wouldn’t be here and we would never have been able to have had a child… that was the visit where we found out it came back 😦  Damn fucking cancer… the beginning of the end…

However, today, I didn’t need to worry… the kitties got a clean bill of health.  Phew!


About Mary K. Smith

I was widowed in July 2009, when I lost my beloved husband, John, to melanoma. Cancer SUCKS. We have a young son who was just a year old when his father died. I live on a small farm in Maryland which is home to horses, cats, and a dog. I started this blog as a way for me to heal, a way to remember my husband, and eventually I'd like to share it with our son so he can see the love that his father had for him, the love that we had for each other, what a great person his father was, and how hard his father fought to live.
This entry was posted in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s