It breaks my heart that it’s now my responsibility. Nobody at 35 years old should have to put a Christmas tree on their husband’s grave and no two year old child should have to do that for their Daddy. But that’s my life.
So, we’ll try to make the best little Christmas trees that we can. Trees that Daddy would be proud of. Trees that would make Daddy smile down from Heaven on us.
Of course, I think John would smile down on Nathaniel if we put a Charlie Brown Christmas tree out for him.
So, I’ll cry alone tonight and try to be brave for tomorrow.
My understanding is that the Christmas tree on the grave started for John’s father. I’m told that John’s father LOVED Christmas. He was known for giving all of the “kids” silver dollars. John saved all of his, but they were stolen. How much I would have loved to have given them to Nathaniel, and told him the tradition. But, they were stolen from John to buy drugs. 😦
After John’s father passed away they put a Christmas tree on his grave at Christmas Eve. John told me that they were the first people in the Cemetery to do a lighted tree. It became a tradition. Ann and her boys would take the Christmas tree on Christmas Eve.
When Ann was sick she asked us to make sure that we continued the tradition. John and I made sure that we did.
Last year, kiddo and I had two Christmas trees for John and his parent’s graves… one broken heart.
This year, again (as kiddo would say… almost everything ends with “again” ) kiddo and I will be taking two trees to the cemetery… and, yes, the heart is still broken…
Here are some more pics of the trees in the making. Ann & Dave’s tree is almost finished. John’s tree isn’t finished yet.
John’s tree- a work in progress
Nathaniel inspecting John’s tree