A crazy thought…

Sometimes, I wonder.  Does John miss me the way I miss him?  Or is he off involved in exciting new things and doesn’t have time to miss me?  I wouldn’t want him to be sad, but I wouldn’t want to be forgotten either.

I’ve had this thought… that I act out in my head…

Whenever we meet again…  John and I give each other a warm embrace.  With tears in my eyes I tell him how much I missed him and how much I love him.  He hugs me back and then says, “Mary, I want you to meet someone.”

And he introduces me to his beautiful Angel Wife.  Not just beautiful… drop dead gorgeous… with a heavenly glow.

I’m shocked and stunned.

Then they show me their beautiful Angel Daughter who shines as radiantly as her halo and is beyond beautiful.  Sweet, charming, polite.  The epitome of the perfect child— angelic.

I look at John totally stunned and unable to even speak.

He says, “Babe, I told you to find love again.  I told you that you could re-marry.  It’s not your fault if you didn’t listen.  What did you expect me to do up in Heaven?  Just sit around pining for you?  Sit around waiting for you?  Cry and be sad for the next several decades?  Honey, life moves on… even when you’re dead.  Sweetie, I’ll always love you, but things are different now.”

And then… yet again… I’m left alone…


About Mary K. Smith

I was widowed in July 2009, when I lost my beloved husband, John, to melanoma. Cancer SUCKS. We have a young son who was just a year old when his father died. I live on a small farm in Maryland which is home to horses, cats, and a dog. I started this blog as a way for me to heal, a way to remember my husband, and eventually I'd like to share it with our son so he can see the love that his father had for him, the love that we had for each other, what a great person his father was, and how hard his father fought to live.
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