Those little moments… when the one you want isn’t there…

Sometimes, it’s the little things that catch you off guard… the big ones you planned for…

But what about those moments where you get good news at work.  The confidential kind of news that can’t be discussed at work.  All I wanted to do it tell John.  To hear him say congrats.  And… he wasn’t there to tell.  Kiddo’s too little.  It’s the kind of news that would be inconsequential to anybody else.

For that one, I called a great friend… I said, “Pretend you’re John…” and told her.  She understood that I needed somebody to care and appreciate.

Tonight, I stayed a few minutes late to send an important e-mail.  As I was logging out, I got a “Thanks!  I’ll get it taken care of” sort of message from a higher up.  I had to reel myself back in because the tears wanted to fall.  John would have appreciated it.  Nobody else would care.

Maybe tonight in my one sided conversation, I’ll tell John about my day…


About Mary K. Smith

I was widowed in July 2009, when I lost my beloved husband, John, to melanoma. Cancer SUCKS. We have a young son who was just a year old when his father died. I live on a small farm in Maryland which is home to horses, cats, and a dog. I started this blog as a way for me to heal, a way to remember my husband, and eventually I'd like to share it with our son so he can see the love that his father had for him, the love that we had for each other, what a great person his father was, and how hard his father fought to live.
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