Stuff kiddo says… “Oh goody!”

Kiddo got a shower and as I’m diapering him, he looks down and points at his penis.

“Mommy, what’s that?”

(ummmm… great… what the fruitbat do I do… show strength… if you waiver he’ll eat you for lunch… hmm… call it some goofy name??… or fess up and tell the truth… what concequence will this have?  Will he need therapy?  Where’s John?  He’s supposed to have the man talks… I had this all planned out…. damn it…  Penis… I know… it’s been a long time… but that’s what it’s called… PENIS… honesty is the best policy…)

“It’s your penis.”

(There I said it.  Phew!)

Child looks at me inquisitively.  He’s satisfied that it has a name, but he want’s to know more.  In his eyes he’s saying, “what does it do, Mommy?”

(Great… WHERE IS JOHN???  I know… John is up there looking down at me… either prepared to say- Geez Mary… WTF- you just screwed MY boy up… now he’s going to need therapy or he’ll  laugh his ass off at me… Is it too early to have “the talk?”  I’ve already had the talk… but that was before he talked… now he talks… ugh… there I was… wanting him to talk… and now he’s wanting penis explanations!!!! What was I thinking.  EEEEKKKK!  How am I supposed to know about penises????  WHERE IS JOHN!!!  Quick… think!!!!!!!  Wait too long and he won’t believe me!!!  Then there will be more penis questions.)

Assuredly, I reply with confidence and authority, “pee comes out of it. When you get older, you’ll use it for other things, too.”

(Ummm… MARY– WHAT THE FRUITBAT??? Use it for other things… way to go… no do over… must roll with it… I think John is laughing… rolling his eyes… and LAUGHING!!!)
Oh GOODY!!!” he says VERY enthusiastically…

And there ends the penis conversation for now… PHEW!!!  Sigh of relief… for now… we’ll have to talk about “oh goody” later… sigh… mutually exclusive relationship based on love and grounded in trust…  a long term… stable relationship… hmmm… how do I explain that concept to a two year old… well… a two year old will probably get it better than some horny teenager… WHERE IS JOHN!!!!  UGH!!!

Hopefully, it will go over better than my human interaction is more important than “Thomas” DVD.  I explained to him how he needed to listen to Mommy & pay attention to her while I was talking.  How important it was to listen and interact with people.  How videos weren’t very important and how you could always watch a DVD later…  Mommy might not be around forever…

I FINALLY thought he was starting to understand the concept… I think I even internally smiled…

Then… in an instant it was gone…

“Mommy, LOOK, watch Thomas!!!” came out of his mouth…

Well… at least he wants me to enjoy the DVD with him…



About Mary K. Smith

I was widowed in July 2009, when I lost my beloved husband, John, to melanoma. Cancer SUCKS. We have a young son who was just a year old when his father died. I live on a small farm in Maryland which is home to horses, cats, and a dog. I started this blog as a way for me to heal, a way to remember my husband, and eventually I'd like to share it with our son so he can see the love that his father had for him, the love that we had for each other, what a great person his father was, and how hard his father fought to live.
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