One of my co-workers is very festive and for holidays gets people a nice little present.  For Mother’s Day she got balloons and cards.  I brought my balloon home for kiddo to play with.  He loves balloons.

Somehow he ended up with it outside.  I tied it around his wrist so it wouldn’t get loose.  Well… apparently I didn’t do it right.  Next thing I know my child is transformed from a happy child playing with his balloon to a screaming, panicked child who insists that I rescue his toy which is now 15 feet in the air and crossing the horse field headed higher.

My poor son is so distressed and screaming because his balloon is gone.

In my attempt to make things right, I tell him that “his balloon has gone to be with Daddy” and, “Daddy can play with it now.”

Of course, this doesn’t console kiddo.

It doesn’t console me either and I find myself in tears, too.  Luckily, kiddo was so upset he didn’t notice that I was crying, too.  The last thing that John would need up in heaven is a Happy Mother’s Day balloon.  I could picture him rolling his eyes at me and shaking his head and going, “Good one, Mary, how difficult is it to tie a balloon on his arm.  I always wanted a Mother’s Day balloon… just what I needed.”

Kiddo didn’t calm down till I promised him that I’d buy him another balloon.

He told me the balloon was broken.  I’m not quite sure how broken balloons soar away.  But the thought of a “broken” balloon made me think that if he had had been this age in 2009 he probably would have said his daddy was broken.  My heart broke again.

Since I’m not always the best at remembering and following through with my promises to kiddo, I made sure I remembered and we made a trip to Martin’s and purchased a $4.00 balloon.  I don’t need him telling his therapist how Mommy never bought him the balloon she promised.

He liked the 40th birthday balloon, but I talked him into an Oriole’s balloon… now if they can just win a few games, maybe it will make my $4.24 purchase worthwhile.  Hey… at least if this one gets loose, John might appreciate an O’s balloon.


About Mary K. Smith

I was widowed in July 2009, when I lost my beloved husband, John, to melanoma. Cancer SUCKS. We have a young son who was just a year old when his father died. I live on a small farm in Maryland which is home to horses, cats, and a dog. I started this blog as a way for me to heal, a way to remember my husband, and eventually I'd like to share it with our son so he can see the love that his father had for him, the love that we had for each other, what a great person his father was, and how hard his father fought to live.
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