Why is it that humans are so good at congratulating and suck at consoling?

Some promotions were announced today, which resulted in a number of “Congratulations!”  “Well deserved!” and “Couldn’t have happened to a better person!” that rang through the air.  Smiles were shared and happiness abounded.  
That same day, I talked to someone who had just lost his wife.  He sounded amazingly with it, but I could hear the hurt and pain in his voice.  I told him how sorry I was and explained that I was a widow.  I thought how tragic to lose a spouse right before the holidays.  I thought of how his life will never be the same.  He thanked me for talking and for understanding.  He said that nobody understands what he is going through and it was nice to talk to someone who gets it.

Later removed from the situation, I contemplated… how is it that humans in general are so great at lifting each other up with happy events– like promotions, marriages, new houses, and babies… but, when it comes to being there when people are at their lowest… be it death of a loved one, loss of a job, abuse, and drug addiction, etc.  most people walk away.  I know I’m not always the best friend either and there are some things that I purposefully remove myself from as a self protective feature.  But when it comes to being that shoulder that is needed… why is it that there are so few people who stand beside thorough thick and thin?  Why do the masses take part in celebration, but only the few stand beside those having rough and rocky times?

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About Mary K. Smith

I was widowed in July 2009, when I lost my beloved husband, John, to melanoma. Cancer SUCKS. We have a young son who was just a year old when his father died. I live on a small farm in Maryland which is home to horses, cats, and a dog. I started this blog as a way for me to heal, a way to remember my husband, and eventually I'd like to share it with our son so he can see the love that his father had for him, the love that we had for each other, what a great person his father was, and how hard his father fought to live.
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