Tag Archives: fear

Mourning dove sighting…

Posted on February 23, 2010 by Mary K. Smith

I went alone to my friend’s husband’s funeral. I’ve told myself that I have to get used to doing things alone and going places alone (or alone in the sense of being the only adult). I’m also uncomfortable doing a … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged driving alone, fear, funeral, gravel roads, grooved pavement, John, Mourning Dove, Nathaniel | Leave a comment

Fears

Posted on January 26, 2010 by Mary K. Smith

It’s funny how your fears change. When John first got his cancer diagnosis, my worst fear was losing him. Well, my worst fear happened. I used to be afraid of dying. The day I held John’s hand as he died, … Continue reading →

Posted in Cats, Friends, Horses, Life after John's Death, Nathaniel | Tagged cancer, Cats, chils, death, dizzy, dying, E.R., Emergency Room, fear, feeding, fever, flu, friend, Horses, John, kiddo, losing him, Mary Katharine, Nathaniel, parents, People of Walmart, weak, Wendy | Leave a comment

“I’ll Wait for You”

Posted on October 9, 2009 by Mary K. Smith

I was driving today and flipped to WXCY, the local country station. I grew up listening to country music, but I’ve moved away from it the last several years. Song- “I’ll Wait For you” Artist- Joe Nichols This song came … Continue reading →

Posted in Annapolis Fire Department, Family, Firefighting, Friends, Horses, Life after John's Death, Nathaniel, Stage IV | Tagged 48 years, AFD, Ann, Annapolis Fire Department, bike, club level, Club Level PSL, Cycling, Dave, die alone, familar face, fear, gate, gravestone, handsome, Heaven, hospital, I'll Wait for You, IL2, Joe Nichols, John, last night together, lonely, Mary Emily, Mary Emily Brown, memories, nasy side effects, Nathaniel, PSL, Ravens, re-marry, rich, The Lake House, wicked side effects | Leave a comment

First without

Posted on October 2, 2009 by Mary K. Smith

As time goes on I know that I’ll have lots of new ‘first withouts’ in my life… today and yesterday consisted of the first viewing and first funeral without John. Larry McMichael was killed in a car accident Monday. Part … Continue reading →

Posted in Friends, Life after John's Death, Pre-stage IV, Stage IV | Tagged Brenda, Cathy, death, fear, first withouts, Foard's, funera, Hopewell, Hopewell Training Center, Horses, Krissy, lesson horses, Mary Areta, Melissa, Missy, Oxford, PC, Stephany, suffering, viewing | 2 Comments

Baby steps

Posted on September 18, 2009 by Mary K. Smith

Sometimes it takes a 14 month old boy to bring true knowledge to your life. My friend and c0-worker, Beth, & her husband, John, treated us to dinner at Applebees. Afterward we stopped by work to visit briefly with my … Continue reading →

Posted in Friends, Nathaniel, Pre-stage IV | Tagged Anniversary, apart, baby steps, bitersweet, epiphany, fear, Friends, good front, heart ached, hesitation, John, life, loneliness, love, Nathaniel, pics, pictures, Roses, sleeping, smiles, tears, true knowledge, work | 1 Comment