Tag Archives: love

Morning Conversation

Posted on December 8, 2012 by Mary K. Smith

So, kiddo and I are having a morning conversation. We’re talking about the things we like about his school. It’s my turn and I say that I enjoy having free time and getting to hang out with a friend of … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged forever and ever always, John, love, marriage, Nathaniel, pre-school, school | Leave a comment

and yet another irony and an interesting occurance…

Posted on November 8, 2010 by Mary K. Smith

On Saturday, the vet wanted to see Winnie again for more fluids and some pills to increase her appetite. I stopped by, met a woman with a Bernese Mountain Dog who apparently didn’t realize that neutering meant testicles were removed. … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged Bernese Mountain Dog, emotions, feelings, grief, Joan Didion, loss, love, memories, paradox, researcher, separated by minutes, sick cat, strange lady, the year mark, The Year of Magical Thinking, vet, weird questions, Winnie, writer | Leave a comment

“Pictures of Daddy!!!”

Posted on September 29, 2010 by Mary K. Smith

A few days ago, Nathaniel was coming down the steps. He started gesturing and getting excited & said, “Pictures of Daddy!!!” and was excitedly showing me photos. He pointed and said, “Daddy!” “Daddy!” “Daddy!” His statement simultaneously filled my heart … Continue reading →

Posted in Life after John's Death, Nathaniel | Tagged choking back tears, daddy, hug, John, love, Loves us, Nathaniel, Pictures of Daddy | Leave a comment

As it draws closer

Posted on July 7, 2010 by Mary K. Smith

With every passing day, it draws closer to a year without John. In jumbled order… somewhere around this time we were watching the Tour de France together. There was the terrible pop of bone… the awful MRI experience (for … Continue reading →

Posted in Annapolis Fire Department, Life after John's Death, Nathaniel | Tagged AFD. Annapolis Fire Department, alone, ambulance, bachelors, beer, big picture, dating, Disney, divorcess, encouragement, future, happiness, issues, John, let go, lonely, lost, love, move on, Murphy's law, Nathaniel, overwhelming, sad, support, Team Smitty, Tour de France, vacations, widow | Leave a comment

Follow Me Everything is Alright

Posted on March 30, 2010 by Mary K. Smith

As I was in the bank, I caught the tail end of the song “Follow Me” by Uncle Kracker It’s a mellow song that I like and hadn’t heard for a while… some of the lyrics resonated in my head…. … Continue reading →

Posted in Life after John's Death | Tagged everything is alright, Follow Me, heart, John, love, song, Uncle Kracker | Leave a comment

I’ve decided that I’d rather be a toddler than a widow…

Posted on February 9, 2010 by Mary K. Smith

Watching Nathaniel has caused me to come to this decision. I’d rather be a toddler than a widow…. When you’re a toddler It’s perfectly acceptable to cry in public. People think you’re cute even when teary eyed. You can throw … Continue reading →

Posted in Life after John's Death, Nathaniel | Tagged bad dream, belly, big delights, boo boo, carefree, cheerleader, comfort, cry, drive, emotions, guide, hugging, innocent, love, meals, Nathaniel, normal, pep talk, public, simple pleasures, smile, snuggling, temper tantrum, toddler, toys, uncomplicated, unconditional love, widow, worry | Leave a comment

“No Balls”

Posted on November 13, 2009 by Mary K. Smith

Today, a friend and her daughter came over and we hung out and worked on some organizing around the house. I decided to tackle the trash bags sitting in the computer room that had been brought from AFD– John’s personal … Continue reading →

Posted in Annapolis Fire Department, Firefighting, Nathaniel, Pre-stage IV, Stage IV | Tagged "American Dad.", "Family Guy", 24 hours, AFD, AFD academy, Amber, Annapolis Fire Department, balls, baseball glove, bed linens, birthday, Blazing Saddles, bob nelson, boot polish, calendar, CD, Cecil County, Cecil County rope rescue team, chapter closing, Christmas, Christmas card, clothes, comb, computer cable, computer stuff, Doc Bar, e-bay, emotional, envelope with paperwork, facebook, fan, FB, fire safety events, firehouse, flying flingshot frog, friend, Frog in a Blender, fun, funeral card, great relationship, harness, helmet, History of the World Part I, hug, instructor, Joe, Joe cartoon, John, jump drive, Ladder 49, lazy assed horses, leather cleaner, love, loved his son, Mel Brooks, melanoma, Menassa, missed, my desk, Nathaniel, Navy, No balls, no photo, organizing, passion, photo magnets, professional, razor, Rescue Me, respected, rigging, rope rescue team, Saving Private Ryan, separate life, smoky, Spaceballs, Stage IV, T-shirt, tackle, teach Nathaniel to play catch, teaching, Thank you note, The Simpsons", The watch desk, Tiny, took for granted, tools, trash bags, work chapter closing, Young buck old school, Young Frankenstein | Leave a comment

“It’s a learning process”

Posted on October 16, 2009 by Mary K. Smith

One of my co-workers told me that she was so proud of me for coming back to work and staying strong and getting the job done. She said that I was very strong. Some days, I feel strong… some days … Continue reading →

Posted in Horses, Leaky Creek, Life after John's Death, Nathaniel, Pre-stage IV | Tagged air compressor, anger, baby, co-worker, cold, committed, confident, courageous, dedicated, dispair, drizzle, ethical, faithful, fighter, grief, hardworking, honest, intelligent, Jeep, John, John Deere, l true to himself, life is too short, losing air, love, low tire, loyal, luck, man to help, moral, Nathaniel, new skill, not always easy, not always pretty, onward, pack & play, persistense, proficient, quit, research, rocks, screaming, sense of humor, shambles, strong, sun rises, sun sets, thinker, tire gauge, toddler, turbo fed, upward, wasted emotion, weak, whatever works | Leave a comment

Baby steps

Posted on September 18, 2009 by Mary K. Smith

Sometimes it takes a 14 month old boy to bring true knowledge to your life. My friend and c0-worker, Beth, & her husband, John, treated us to dinner at Applebees. Afterward we stopped by work to visit briefly with my … Continue reading →

Posted in Friends, Nathaniel, Pre-stage IV | Tagged Anniversary, apart, baby steps, bitersweet, epiphany, fear, Friends, good front, heart ached, hesitation, John, life, loneliness, love, Nathaniel, pics, pictures, Roses, sleeping, smiles, tears, true knowledge, work | 1 Comment

Looking back- September 17, 2005

Posted on September 17, 2009 by Mary K. Smith

John and I were simple people. No need for a big fancy wedding. We had one bridesmaid and one groom- Wendy & James O’Rourke. They were the people who had set us up on way back on August 30, 1997. … Continue reading →

Posted in Family, Horses, Leaky Creek, Nathaniel, Pre-stage IV | Tagged certificate, Di, formality, James, Jeep, John, Leaky Creek, license, Linda, love, low key, Marie, marriage, marriage license, Nathaniel, paper, simple, wedding, Wendy, Winston | Leave a comment

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