Proclamation from Nathaniel

Nathaniel was walking down the steps today and I wasn’t even really paying much attention to him.  We have pictures of John on the wall and Nathaniel started babbling “Daddy.”  He kept repeating it and was pointing excitedly at the photos.

Then he stopped in the middle of the steps and made sure he had my attention and very loudly proclaimed,


Smiling and fighting back tears, I told him that “I love Daddy too.”

I then said, “Your Daddy loved you very, very much.”  To anybody who had the opportunity to witness John in fatherhood, it was clearly evident that Nathaniel was the most important thing in his life and what he loved the very most.

I then stopped and thought about what I’d just said… past tense… damn past tense.

I told Nathaniel, “Your Daddy loveS you very, very much.”

I picked him up and gave him a huge hug.  Perhaps it is a bit of irony that 5 years ago, John & I announced that we’d take each other to be husband and wife.

About Mary K. Smith

I was widowed in July 2009, when I lost my beloved husband, John, to melanoma. Cancer SUCKS. We have a young son who was just a year old when his father died. I live on a small farm in Maryland which is home to horses, cats, and a dog. I started this blog as a way for me to heal, a way to remember my husband, and eventually I'd like to share it with our son so he can see the love that his father had for him, the love that we had for each other, what a great person his father was, and how hard his father fought to live.
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