Funny how a single instance can bring memories flooding back.  I was getting myself tangled in my cords to my headset and my earphones.  An inconvenient tug of the earbud and there it was… I was transported back in time.

John hated all of the cords, but they became a fixture in his life for a lot of the time when he was sick… gastric tube… IVs in the hospital… chemo… immunotherapy…  IV antibiotics, the backpack, feedings, flushing pic line, and the morphine pump, and all of the other things that I’m forgetting.  The whole nine yards…

In my case the cord was too short… and I got a slightly unpleasant tug in my ear.

In John’s case the cords were too long.

My mind flashed back to how methodically and neatly he patiently tried to keep his cords organized.  In the hospital with multiple IV lines it could be quite a challenge.  But John, like he was in life- mastered it… kept his cool… kept his composure and dealt with it.  And I think it was a way for him to pass his time and occupy his mind while he sat in the hospital room or in his bed.  I’m sure cords were better things to occupy his mind with than his cancer and the odds and his health.

“It is what it is.”

Love you, John…

About Mary K. Smith

I was widowed in July 2009, when I lost my beloved husband, John, to melanoma. Cancer SUCKS. We have a young son who was just a year old when his father died. I live on a small farm in Maryland which is home to horses, cats, and a dog. I started this blog as a way for me to heal, a way to remember my husband, and eventually I'd like to share it with our son so he can see the love that his father had for him, the love that we had for each other, what a great person his father was, and how hard his father fought to live.
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