Today, some stranger will accept a flag in John’s name

Today, on September 11th, a day that means so much to all Americans, but is a particularly relevant day to fire fighters, in Colorado for the IAFF holds it’s Fallen Fire Fighter Memorial Service.  For reasons discussed yesterday, I’m not in Colorado.

Today, some stranger who probably doesn’t really want to be there will accept John’s flag.

Nobody at the ceremony will know John  or care about him.  He’ll be just one name on a list– a name on a wall.

People will wonder why nobody came as a representative.  They don’t know why.  They don’t know that it’s a matter of money and a matter of stretching money as far as possible and trying to be responsible about the future.

So today, I have a headache and feel like I’ve let John down and like I should be in Colorado.  I should be in Colorado, but I’m not.  Kiddo and I will wear our Team Smitty shirts and think of John and remember not only John, but all of those who lost their lives on September 11, 2001.

John, I’m sorry

Advertisements

About Mary K. Smith

I was widowed in July 2009, when I lost my beloved husband, John, to melanoma. Cancer SUCKS. We have a young son who was just a year old when his father died. I live on a small farm in Maryland which is home to horses, cats, and a dog. I started this blog as a way for me to heal, a way to remember my husband, and eventually I'd like to share it with our son so he can see the love that his father had for him, the love that we had for each other, what a great person his father was, and how hard his father fought to live.
This entry was posted in Annapolis Fire Department, Events in honor of John, Firefighting, Life after John's Death and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s