Being a Widow by Candace Marley

Being A Widow

What does it mean to be a widow? Well of course the definition of widow is “a woman who has lost her husband by death and has not remarried.” But it is so much more than that. It’s not just the loss of a spouse. It is the loss of:
your best friend
your lover
your confident
a shoulder to lean on
your caretaker when your sick
the person who wipes away your tears
the person who tells you that you are beautiful even when you have bedhead
the person who finds you sexy no matter how much weight you gain
the person who can find you sexy even in old grey sweats
the person you were going to grow old with
the person who would stick with you through thick and thin
all your plans for the future
a warm body on a cold winter’s night
the people you THOUGHT were friends
the person who can make you laugh even when you’re in a fowl mood
the one person who will look past all your faults and STILL love you no matter what
the person who can forgive you for every little mistake you make
the person you were
your hopes
your dreams
your heart
your soul
your fear of death

Becoming a widow is soul shattering. It’s mind blowing.

So what do you gain? You gain:
A new personality
A world of pain
New friends who have shared the same loss
A new appreciation for the time you have with your loved ones
The ability to look past the petty and material things in life
A fear of living a long life
A new (and required) independence
Strength you didn’t know you had
A different view of the world
A hole where you’re heart used to be

–Candace Marley

This was written by a woman who also lost her husband to melanoma.  I think she pretty much sums it up… although I don’t know that I’m scared of living a long life so much as living a long life alone.

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About Mary K. Smith

I was widowed in July 2009, when I lost my beloved husband, John, to melanoma. Cancer SUCKS. We have a young son who was just a year old when his father died. I live on a small farm in Maryland which is home to horses, cats, and a dog. I started this blog as a way for me to heal, a way to remember my husband, and eventually I'd like to share it with our son so he can see the love that his father had for him, the love that we had for each other, what a great person his father was, and how hard his father fought to live.
This entry was posted in Life after John's Death and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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